Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
