high people should be assigned attendants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
