By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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