He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
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