Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
