Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
