Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
