I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
