I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
