Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
