3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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