Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
