just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
honey bunches of taint.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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