hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
