I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
