I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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