My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I look better un-naked...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
