I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
