thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
