she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
