last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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