I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
