seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
