Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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