WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
