is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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