It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
