you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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