If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
soo... how was my night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
