Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
