it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
