i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
