it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sorry about my life...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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