I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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