I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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