please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize