i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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