Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
