literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
