so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We are two peas in an std pod
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
