jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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