New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
