do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
