i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
