Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
