I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
