Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
