don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The power of my boobs compel you
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
