she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
