Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
