so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Shame is for Republicans.
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