lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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