We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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