Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
